So I am wondering what the point of my life is today. Having zero interest in being married, having kids and with work which is becoming unchallenging, tedious and draining. I feel like I am just living for the 'next thing'. Dinner with friends (whom I am truly blessed with), a massage, a concert, a play, a holiday, the next relationship, the same mistakes. The simple pleasures and empty spaces in between just so devoid of energy – emotional or otherwise. I am overwhelmed with this bone deep tiredness pervading every cell of me that constantly emits this deep, silent, groan.
Just so fucking tired.
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8 comments:
Hey Flutts.... somehow when you're exhausted the whole world looks exhausted. But David Whyte says it much better than I ever could....
Sweet Darkness by David Whyte
When your eyes are tired
the world is tired also.
When your vision has gone
no part of the world can find you.
Time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.
There you can be sure
you are not beyond love.
The dark will be your womb
tonight.
The night will give you a horizon
further than you can see.
You must learn one thing.
The world was meant to be free in.
Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.
Sometimes it take darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn
anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive
is too small for you.
Ja Fluts. I know what you mean.
And then, just when you're nice and depressed, Frankly skips along posts a reply like that.
And somehow, you feel a bit better... well I do. I hope you do too.
Thanks Frankly, I needed that. Love Whyte and also read this one which always makes me feel better.
What to Remember When Waking
by David Whyte
In that first hardly noticed moment in which you wake,
coming back to this life from the other
more secret, moveable and frighteningly honest world
where everything began,
there is a small opening into the new day
which closes the moment you begin your plans.
What you can plan is too small for you to live.
What you can live wholeheartedly will make plans enough
for the vitality hidden in your sleep.
To be human is to become visible
while carrying what is hidden as a gift to others.
To remember the other world in this world
is to live in your true inheritance.
You are not a troubled guest on this earth,
you are not an accident amidst other accidents
you were invited from another and greater night
than the one from which you have just emerged.
Now, looking through the slanting light of the morning window
toward the mountain presence of everything that can be
what urgency calls you to your one love?
What shape waits in the seed of you
to grow and spread its branches
against a future sky?
Is it waiting in the fertile sea?
In the trees beyond the house?
In the life you can imagine for yourself?
In the open and lovely white page on the waiting desk?
Ja Dex, and dankie skattebol.
I do feel better now.
Well Flutts I thought you were watching ping pong with Ramon discussing the importance of marketing? ;)
You could try cocaine?
Just kidding.
Not really.
Sort of.
Flutts, I know what it is...
Friggin' birthdays do it to you every time.
A bit late, but happy happy for the 24th.
*hug*
anonymous - that's me, with finger trouble
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